My first job was at a Tanning Salon. I would go in after school and close up shop at the end of the night. I had lots of free time waiting for customers to arrive so I started reading my bible. That was the first time in my life that I read my bible on a consistent basis. My parents had just got divorced and I needed comfort. So what book did I start reading?
Job. :)
I remember reading chapter after chapter wondering when this guys would catch a break and when his friends would shut up and be nice! I stuck with it and in chapter 38 the Lord speaks,
"1 Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:
2 “Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me"
I pictured God snapping his fingers three times in a Z pattern saying, "I know you just didn't!"
:)
He proceeds to declare who He is and what He can do. At the time, it felt good to know that God was bigger than my circumstances.
8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
9 when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
10 when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt’?"
After two chapters of God explaining how awesome he is, Job makes his first reply. I am sure his knees were shaking. His voice cracking,
4 “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
5 I spoke once, but I have no answer—
twice, but I will say no more.”
The Lord continues to describe His majesty. Then Job has thought about what he wants to say and is ready to answer,
2 “I know that you can do all things;
no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
3 You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
4 “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.’
5 My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes.”
Not long after I started reading the bible and forming a true relationship with God, I graduated high school and left home for college.
-People distracted me from Him
-New opportunities distracted me from Him
-Anger and bitterness distracted me from Him
For many years I was obsessed with independence and control. I lived as if I set the world in motion.
I read these chapters for the 2nd time yesterday, 10 years after I first read them. As soon as my eyes scanned verse 6 of chapter 42, my heart dropped.
I am currently seeking surrender but all I could say after reading that verse was, "I repent God. I repent for all those years I lived as if you were not God and I repent for the moments in the days, weeks and years to come when I will not submit to Your authority. Forgive me Lord."
I love it when scriptures come alive and minister to you in different stages of life. Today, I am thankful God is bigger than my circumstances, He is in control and I am not.
