Singing before Bed

Last night I was laying in bed, talking to God & asking forgiveness for desiring the things of this world more than Him. Suddenly the words of a worship song I haven't sang in years popped in my head:

"You are the only one I need
I bow all of me at Your feet
I worship You alone

You have given me more than
I could ever have wanted
And I want to give You my heart and my soul

You alone are Father
And You alone are good
You are alone are Savior
And You alone are God

I'm alive, I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive"

I love the thought that through surrender, through realizing that He is all we need, we come alive! I began singing the song in my head. But then quietly sang it out loud (I didn't want to wake up Jason) 

:)

It was a reminder that I can worship God though song, anytime. Not just on Sundays. I want to make these moments a consistent part of my musical.

Today I challenge you to take some time in the car, in the bathroom :), when you get home and sing to Him. 

No matter what your voice sounds like!

If I Ever . . .

Last Summer my friend Hannah and I tried out for American Idol. You can read about our journey HERE. 

We didn't make it past round 1!

I used to love this show, but don't really watch it anymore. I feel in their attempts to find the unique, they end up settling for lots of mediocre talent and sound a-likes. 

But, I still like to day dream about being on the show. Not to get famous but to experience the rush of performing in front of an audience like that!

Here are some of the songs I would sing if I was on the show:

"Turn the Page," Bob Seger

"Mary Jane," Alanis Morissette

"Barracuda," Heart

"The Story" Brandi Carlile

"Stupid" Sarah McLachlan

*My Birth Year Song, "Dirty Laundry," Don Henley OR "Faithfully," Journey, but a broken down version like, Lauren Rose's. 

A girl can dream! :)

A God You Can Trust?

I had dinner with my friend Jessica Esch on Thursday night. She is an incredibly beautiful, talented, smart woman. We got to know each other a little better & I was so grateful for the time spent with her. Our blogs share similar joys and frustrations with ourselves and this life. :)

I shared with her how life can bring things that are unexpected. The flood was definitely an unexpected occurrence that we hope will never happen again. But I learned to have faith in God and his provision during that time and if it happens again, we will be ok. I trust that we will be ok.

She is currently going through a couple of transitions. In fact, this weekend she was going to start moving her stuff from her apartment into her newly renovated house! 

And not 24 hours after our dinner, Jessica's apartment burned down. She lost everything including her Border Collie, Sammy Mac.

I sobbed for two hours. Jessica was one of the many friends that showed up the first day to help us gut our home & comfort us. I wanted to hug her, I thought about all of the beautiful clothes she had, her pictures, her memories, & her sweet dog. I can't imagine the intense pain she felt watching it all go up in flames. I realized that my meeting with Jess was ordained by God.

But that is not the only reason why I was crying. My faith was tested. Do I truly believe what I told Jess on Thursday? 

Do I have faith in God through the uncertain, not just the predictable?

This incredible song written by Benji & Jenna Cowart has been speaking to my heart during this time. Please take a listen and take a moment to pray for my friend Jess.

"Blessed are you who’ve chosen to choose

The right way no matter the cost

You do what you say when you say what you do

Not counting the gain or the loss

And blessed are they who hold on to faith

When everything’s coming undone

Day after day you stand in the face

Of the wind and the rain and the storm

They will see God

They will see God

Blessed are you the cheated and used

Your heart is so broken and spent

And though you could run

Grace overcomes

And you choose to forgive once again

And blessed are they who hold on to faith

When everything’s coming undone

Day after day you stand in the face

Of the wind and the rain and the storm

They will see God

They will see God

There will be hope for the hopeless

Rest for the weary

A day when all wrong is made right

There will be light in the darkness

His love is returning

And finally faith will be sight

They will see God

They will see God

They will see God

They will see God

Blessed are you who’ve chosen to choose

The right way no matter the cost"

Cultivate Her Day!

It's a Cultivate Her blog post day! Click HERE to check out my thoughts on what's next for me and my family and tour the blog to read more insightful posts from women leaders. This ministry challenges women to pursue God-sized dreams for their life!

An Original

I'm not a songwriter. I've only written 1 song. I wrote it at age 18. 

Today, I'm going to let you listen to a piece of my musical from 10 years ago.

In this recording I'm singing my song WAY out of my range because I wrote it on my piano at home which was probably 2-3 steps flat. My piano was never tuned. My alto tone is stretching to soprano, which is not my strength. I really didn't know what my range was then. :)

As hard as it is for me to listen to myself singing this (and not analyze it to death), I'm going to be brave and let you listen.

Not because I want you to hear my song, to get a pat on the back or praise, but because it is refreshing for me to remember this girl. 

*A girl who loves music. 

*A girl who was brave enough to share what God had creatively given her. 

*A girl leaving home for the first time to find herself.

I AM THAT GIRL!

This is my song, "A Peace Where You Dwell." Lyrics below.

Wandering, without a cause

To find a connection to fill a void

Searching for the answers that aren't reliable

Praying for a peace where You dwell

My fighting and striving has led me nowhere

But I find myself where I belong

You know why my heart aches

You hold out Your hand

You ask me to trust You

Still I look for someone

When you were always there

You're the only one worth searching for

I have traveled for hours

Just for one voice to hear

Let down by the ones that I love most

Knowing Your voice was calling me

My fighting and striving has led me nowhere

But I find myself where I belong

You know why my heart aches

You hold out Your hand

You ask me to trust You

Still I look for someone

When you were always there

You're the only one worth searching for

You ask me to seek You

And only then will I find You

I want to give of my whole heart

To be found by You

You know why my heart aches

You hold out Your hand

You ask me to trust You

Still I look for someone

When you were always there

You're the only one worth searching for

"I wanna rock-n-roll
I wanna give my soul
I'm wanting to believe
I'm not too old
Don't want to make it up
Don't want to let you down
I want to fly away
But I'm stuck on the ground . . . 

Something's gotta break
You gotta swing the bat
Too many years of dying
Why is that?"

Matthew Perryman Jones, "Save You"

Stuck on a Lyric

I have to be honest. When I first heard Laura Story's song, "Blessings," I couldn't get past the chorus. "What if Your blessings come through raindrops . . ." 

Really? That seems so childish.

I wondered why so many people loved and couldn't stop talking about this song.

But I took some time to listen to the STORY behind Laura Story's song and I can certainly relate. Laura and her husband learned to have a different perspective during times of sickness.

Lord, forgive me for shutting my ears to the truths of this song because I was hung up on one lyric. 

Shame on me for being SO childish.

We are ending the service tomorrow at all of our campuses with this song after Blake Bergstrom shares a message on, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." 

I have mourned for many, many years over the loss of feeling good, healthy, my best. But how often do I mourn over my wondering heart that chooses the things of this world over Christ, far too often. 

"We pray for healing

For prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things" 

Very thankful for a broken heart tonight and a new perspective on what are truly blessings in my life.