Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Help Me Believe

While driving to run errands on Saturday, I began to pray for the families who lost loved ones on Friday in Connecticut.

I asked God to give them comfort, peace, and understanding. But then I began to question Him.

At first I didn't say out loud what I was thinking, but He already knew what my heart was feeling,

"God, are you trying to prove a point? Why would let this happen? Do you really have to let the lives of children be robbed from this earth, and IN THAT WAY? I have a hard time believing in you when things like this happen, I'm sorry, but I do!"

I tried to calm myself down, wipe away the tears and be ok knowing He was listening, but I wouldn't have answers.

The next day I sought comfort listening to Nichole Nordeman's, "This Mystery" album. The song "Help Me Believe" started playing.

"Help me believe, cause I don't want to miss any miracles.
Maybe I'd see much better by closing my eyes, 
And I would shed this grown up skin I'm in to touch an angel's wing.
And I would be free.
Help me believe."

My prayer changed as I prayed the lyrics of this song, "Help me believe God, I want to see Your miracles."

For the past two months we have been praying for the son of one of Jason's co-worker's, Tika. Her son, Armenius, was rushed to the hospital sick and having seizures. Initial tests showed that he had a heart condition. He was in ICU, critical condition and on life support. There were moments they thought he wouldn't make it. He was put on the transplant list. He had strokes and lost feeling in his left side. Then they were told he may not walk, talk, or be the same fun loving 6 year old.

But he fought back. He gradually improved. They discovered his condition may not be related to his heart but could be a very rare virus he contracted. He started walking, talking and his compassionate, loving nature is more present than ever.

Jason came home last night with an update. They took Armenius for tests to check his heart again and see if he could be taken off the transplant list.

The doctors couldn't explain what they saw. It was as if what they originally spotted had vanished. They couldn't say it, but Tika could,

"It's a miracle."

My heart was overflowing with affirmation that God heard me and he definitely heard the prayers for Armenius.

Jason said, "We can't explain why some bad things happens, but stories like this show us His love, that He is listening and renew our faith."

I'm praying we won't miss His miracles today, whatever they may be. Continue to pray that those who are hurting & aching to have their family members back would see them too.