Saturday, October 30, 2010


On vacation in Destin, FL two years ago with our friends Jad, Melissa, Jarrod and Laura, I awoke at 3:00 AM one night with a tattoo revelation.

I never wanted a tattoo.

I'm not saying the Lord told me to get a tattoo. :)

But I do believe out of my creative nature this idea came to me.

The children's song, "Praise Him, Praise Him, All ye little children, God is Love, God is Love," was in my head. I thought it would be neat to get the melody line of "God is Love," as a tattoo. I told everyone the next morning and they thought it was a great idea. Jarrod threatened to steal it!

So, for the past two years I held on to this creative moment. I have never wavered on my idea and today, I followed through. :)

It started here:

And was made beautiful by Laura the tattoo artist:

It was so much fun to be surrounded by some of my closest friends cheering me on! It hurt REAL bad, but I was tough and once again lived out my motto for 2010, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone!"

We ended the night carving pumpkins! Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 29, 2010


Take a look at our video from week 1 of our series at Cross Point, THIS IS OUR GOD. You can watch the message HERE.

the perception of relationships from Cross Point Church on Vimeo.

I was reminded of what I am learning right now while listening to Joy Williams' song Unafraid:

‘Cause I know who You are
Staring life in the face
‘Cause I know who I am is who You made
So here I stand

Join us this Sunday at one of our campuses for week 2 of our series, 

9:00 & 11:00 AM

9:00 & 11:00 AM

8:30, 10:00, 11:30 AM & 6:00 PM

10:00 AM

Thursday, October 28, 2010

"Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good"

John Mayer, The Heart Of Life

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Plot Complication

I was a healthy kid. My sweet sister was the sick one, always battling a cold or infection. The only ailment that bothered me was headaches. I would get them a couple of times a year. I learned how to swallow adult pills at age 6.

I also had mild seizures growing up. I would see flashing lights in my head when I closed my eyes and experience metallic tastes in my mouth. I had a Complex Partial Seizure at age 10 and had many tests run. All of them came back normal.

When I was 17, I started having headaches frequently. I had more tests run and once again they came back normal. Over the past 10 years these headaches have taken over my life. It is rare that I have a good day with no pain. I've seen lots of doctors, had lots of tests run and tried lots of treatments. It is still unknown what causes my pain. I am currently in treatment for Temporomandibular joint disorder. My headaches remain the same although my joints are working better.

I recently discovered that singing and leading worship intensifies my headaches and pain. Opening and closing my mouth repetitively and moving my arms and body is hard on me.

But, leading worship is a part of my calling.

I could get mad at God. 
I could give up. 
I could loose hope.

I had a conversation with my dear friend Tiffany today. She helped me realize that while I am leading worship, I have to depend on God. I am not in control of those moments. He has to give my body strength as I lead and healing after the fact. 

Today, I am thankful it doesn't come "easy" for me. I still cling to the hope that one day I will be healed.

So, this Sunday at Cross Point Bellevue, I will lead with "arms high and heart abandoned."

"And so here we go bluebird.
Gather your strength and rise up."

Sara Bareilles, Bluebird

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


As a staff at Cross Point we have been reading, The Me I Want To Be by John Ortberg. This book has A LOT of great nuggets. We are all different in how we relate and experience God. Ortberg encourages you to pursue and be the best version of yourself. Not the person you want to portray or emote.

The book has partnered with a company called Monvee. Monvee has created a test that analyzes your personality type, learning style and pathway to experience God. The test also aligns you with a biblical character that is most like you.

Some of our characteristics:
-talkative, dramatic, energetic, conscientious, serious, orderly, and responsible :)
-The ability to see the best in people and meet their needs in specific helpful ways. You help them believe there is more to them than what they can even see. 
-You pride yourself on being transparent and want to be known as much as you want to know others.
-You are fearful of feeling unwanted and/or unloved, you are motivated to find ways to show love and to feel needed and wanted.
-You can spend too much time trying to impress people in order to be appreciated and find yourself working to please everyone too much.
-Spiritual Inhibitor: Pride/Self-centeredness (OUCH!)
-You may become resentful and punishing toward others if your expectations are unfulfilled.

My pathway to experience God is creation. I feel God when I am in majestic settings like the beach or the mountains, which is where I spent the past 3 days:

My learning style is classroom setting where I can take notes, listen, participate and discuss. I took lots of notes during our staff time together: 
It was good to have affirmation that these two attributes were evident during this trip. I sat outside and gazed at His creation. I felt at peace the whole time I was there. I wrote in my journal. I learned through taking notes.

I came home today, went outside with Charlie and saw this: 

I felt like God was saying, "Don't forget what you learned. Come to Me and worship Me." 

I hope to find more opportunities to enjoy His creation. I want to continue to journal like I used to as I pray and read His word. And I want to be the me God has created me to be.

I highly recommend this book as a tool for spiritual development and practices. Each book has a link with a code where you can take the Monvee test.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Comic Relief

It's been a year and a half since our staff has gone on a Staff Retreat. We were all excited to get away this week and spend some time brainstorming/team building in Gatlinburg.

Sometimes we forget to have fun with each another while we work and lead our ministries. My favorite part of staff retreats are the times where we laugh until our stomachs hurt!

Top Comic Relief Moments:

*On my first staff retreat we spent the day on the lake. At the time there were only 10 people on staff (crazy to think about) but we crowded into Jack's boat ready for a good time. We got the idea to boogie board, two at a time and before we knew it, we broke the boat. Jarrod and Matt were on the boogie boards when the catastrophe happened so they were stranded in the water. :)

*On my second staff retreat we went on a house boat cruise. We had a staff talent show and Tom dressed up as a woman and sang "Stop! In The Name Of Love", Ashley put on a sequined outfit and hula hooped, and sweet, quiet Chad did a skit where he played NASCAR Ned, a rowdy member of the pit crew (our favorite and the winner)!

*The last staff retreat we competed in relay races (many of us busted our tails) and we had to make a short film. The boys did a scene from Gilligan's Island (Blake was Mary Ann with a coconut bra) and the Girls did a CSI parody that involved me getting a pie in the face! 

We often find places to stay where we can sit around the fire, eating s'mores and swapping stories. Who knows what funny moments this retreat will hold! I'm excited to make many more memories with my staff family on these trips and as we work together each week at Cross Point.

The dinner bell is ringing! Time to eat some chili and Apple Barn pies! 

Saturday, October 23, 2010


Almost every musical has a scandalous moment or undertone. 

Here are some of my guilty music pleasures. These are albums I crank up the bass and volume in the car to have a little fun. Or maybe a lot of fun.

The Pleasure And The Greed - Big Wreck

Collision Course - Linkin Park/Jay Z

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

Hide your kids . . .
Hide your wife . . .
AND hide your husbands . . .


What are some of your guilty pleasure albums?

Friday, October 22, 2010

Soul Sifters

There are songs that are "go tos" on my ipod and I feel intense emotion every time I hear them. I am drawn to songs with tension and heavy lyrics.

5 of them are listed below:

Razor - Foo Fighers (Live version)
Haunting. This song has a repetitive hook until the last minute. Chaos breaks loose. Brilliant. "Sweet and divine, razor of mine."

Basket Case - Sara Bareilles
One of my new obsessions. Both Sara Bareilles albums I own are worth every penny. I can listen to every song and that rarely happens. This song reminds me of Heart and Susan Ashton. Weird combo, but I like it! 
"You got a steel train touch and I'm just a track you lay"

Do What You Have To Do - Sarah Mclachlan
I heard this for the first time at 16. It is still one of my favorite songs. 
"What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage . . ."
Help Me Believe - Nichole Nordeman
10 years ago I was going through a difficult time with my family. I was desperate for comfort. I drove to a park, sat in my car and listened to this song. I just wanted to be a kid again.
"Maybe I'd see much better by closing my eyes and I would shed this grown up skin I'm in to touch an Angels wing. And I would be free. Help me believe." 

Daisy - Switchfoot
I heard this song performed live and I will never forget that moment of worship.
"Daisy, Let it Go."

What are some songs that are "go tos" on your ipod?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


I have always lived in fear. Scared of failure. Held back by insecurities.

I never spread my wings to fly. (Although I've sang, "Broken Wing" numerous times)
We were flood victims this past year and through that time of uncertainty, I gained courage. I have been through some difficult things in my life, but I have never needed things. When everything was stripped away, I learned that God is my provider. The passage from Matthew 6 that I have hidden in my heart was finally real to me:

31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I was driving home from work one day in August and realized that my prayer since CHILDHOOD, "Lord, take away this fear that holds me down and rules my life," was being answered. 

I am beginning ACT I of my journey. I am at the start of a new life, driven by courage.

For the 1st time in 27 years, I feel like I can fly.

Thank you for supporting me as I learn to soar.