Sunday, December 12, 2010

I'll Sit This One Out

I named my blog, "My Life is a Musical" because I have a song in my head ALL the time, whether I am singing it or not.

I just waltzed around the kitchen singing the Christmas carol, "The Christmas Waltz" because it was snowing outside. :)

But there is one song I have trouble singing,

"You walk with my through fire and heal all my disease
I trust in You
I believe You're my healer . . . 
Nothing is impossible for You" 

Sometimes I sit and pray when this song is in the set list. I have to fight back tears when I lead this song. I doubt these lyrics. I want to believe healing of my physical body will come but in the back of my mind I don't think it will ever happen.

Today I was able to float to several campuses and experience Cross Point as an attendee. I chose to sing these words. I chose joy over sorrow. 

As I was leaving the Bellevue service an older gentleman stopped me and said,

"Your enthusiasm during worship inspires me. I needed that today."

It reminded me that my attitude, my body language, my words, my actions and the song of my heart can make a difference in someone's life. 

Healing is in Your hands God.

"How high, how wide
No matter where I am, healing is in Your hands
How deep, How strong,
And now by Your grace I stand, healing is in Your hands"



5 comments:

  1. Dear Miranda. I love your blog! My life is a musical as well!

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  2. Miranda, as one who has suffered great pain, esp. when I was young like you, I can tell you that when I chose joy over sorrow, a healing began deep deep in my soul. There's a great book called Don't Waste Your Sorrows by Paul Bilheimer that helped me so much come to term with some of my chronic physical and emotional pain. Suffering builds a strong character and closer walk to God, if we allow it to and not fight against it. I'm so sorry you deal with pain so much. I know God has a great plan for you, and this pain is shaping you. I didn't like hearing those words when I didn't see others hurting like I was. But His eyes see so much more than ours can. Trust His heart, sweet Miranda! You are so special!! Jana Thompson

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  3. Love it!! :) For real...love your honesty and transparency!

    I, too, have struggled singing this song. I so want to sing it and believe that the words are true...true for my life. That God is my healer; that nothing is impossible.

    Usually, I sing this song with myself in mind. I sing the lyrics thinking, maybe, that if I sing with enough faith and sincerity, if I try hard enough to believe, things would change.

    But today, I realized something. My perspective was changed. These lyrics are truth, regardless of my circumstances. It's not about me, it's about Him. It's not about my situation, but about praising a God who has and always will be God. He is sovereign; He is the Healer; He can do what we deem impossible.

    It's not my job to try harder or believe harder, but to "try softer" and just worship...trust and let Him be God.

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  4. Cara, I love you sweet girl.

    Jana, I know you know how it feels and your encouragement means so much to me. I will have to check out that book!

    Judy (Alysha) :) I love your blog. Seems like you and I have sister blog content. I'm so glad you and I are learning to "try softer" together. Thanks for sharing your heart with me!

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  5. It is so hard to believe for healing for yourself. I was praying for a friend during worship yesterday, and kept getting 'faith of a mustard seed' as I prayed for her. I believe that was for her, but also for all of us. I will put up with illness or pain, yet pray for others for healing. I guess I just need to remember that God loves me enough to die for me, and therefore He does care about my condition.

    But I fully agree with you. We CHOOSE how we respond to things. We CHOOSE to worship in the midst of pain and suffering and just general bad moods. We CHOOSE and God hears and loves and responds as He wills.

    Hope this makes sense.

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